Showers of Baby Showers

Oh my goodness, baby showers are way more fun than I thought they would be. We have had 3 so far. I got a shared baby shower at work with my coworker who is pregnant. Then my family threw one for us in L.A. over Martin Luther King weekend. Bill's coworkers, since they are located in southern California, decided he must also have a virtual baby shower.

Everyone has been super generous. We got clothes, towels, diapers, stylish diaper bag, toys, bath stuff, crib, glider, pack and play, stroller, activity center, rocking horse, medicine, wipes, chair, etc, etc. As boxes have continued to roll in, Bill now knows the UPS and Fedex guys. You name it, we probably got it, and we haven't spent more than $20 ourselves.

We also have one more baby shower that MK is throwing for us. She insists we keep putting things on the registry. I could get used to this. Now we just need the baby to come home and enjoy what everyone has so generously lavished on him.

I also can't help but want to share photos on this blog. And even though I am still encouraged not to publish openly, I feel like I need to share him with the world. In an earlier post, before we met D, I was worried about hands and feet. Then we got photos with his hands in them, at which point, I only had feet to obsess on. Well, I'm proud to present my son's perfect little feet!

















Oh what the hell, here he is in all his glory, getting a baby massage.

In Dire Need of an Attitude Adjustment

I really need to find a way to brighten my outlook. This past month since coming home from trip 1 has been so hard. We miss of little munchkin so terribly and I can't figure out what to do with myself. I couldn't bring myself to update this blog and I could barely participate or keep up with the Yahoo group. I just didn't want to subject anyone else to my gloom.

We have had and continue to have challenges with CIS and the Embassy of Kygyzstan and all this has caused us major anxieties. We still don't have our I-171H and despite going to our homestudy social worker and to our congressman's office, nothing has helped. I could no longer just sit and wait. I finally decided that we need to take our shot at going to the CIS office in person. My sister Joanne found how we could make an appointment. So we made one for this past Monday.

Bill and I went through every possible argument or counter argument the CIS may have for us as to why we should shut up and patiently wait for the paperwork to get done. I gave myself the butterflies in anticipation. I was ready for the worst but really hoped it would not be so bad. In my view, it was better to get bad news than to stay where we were at that moment, which is NO NEWS.

We take BART over to the city on Monday and when we got there, there wasn't a line around the block or anything even close. We got checked in right away and was given a number. While sitting there, I noticed banners saying "Celebrating Customer Service Week". Wow, yeah, we're off to a good start.

Finally our number was called and when we got to the counter (I was expecting private offices - not sure why my mind never envisioned counters), the CIS officer told us he wasn't that familiar with Orphan Petitions so we had to wait for the lady who handles these. Despite my initial dread that we would end up being called by him, he turned out to be very nice. Great, celebrating customer service week is working so far.

We sit back down and patiently wait for the lady who was monopolizing our CIS officer's time to finish her business. It took everything I had not to peel her away from that counter so we can have our turn. It seemed like forever but finally she walked away and was done. Our turn. Time to cash in on Customer Service Week.

I have to say that it wasn't all that bad. She was very nice. She let us know that there are more officers now being assigned to work on Orphan Petitions so things should be moving more quickly again. Then, she confirmed our names and went upstairs to check our file. She came back down shortly after to let us know that they have all the documents we sent but they needed other ones. She would not or could not tell us what the letter said but only that it was dated January 18. The funny thing is that at one point, I asked her a specific question and she said she couldn't give me that answer because I wasn't Bill. And for the sake of his privacy, she couldn't discuss it. Mind you, Bill was standing next to me this whole time. But in all fairness, it never dawned on me to offer to go wait somewhere else so she can give him the super secret answers. That's probably because I am a logical person. Whatever. That was weird.

Well, I guess there was nothing else to do but wait for the letter to arrive via snail mail. She suggested we wait another week to see if the letter comes. Then she made it sound like it wouldn't be long after that before we receive our approval. So at the end of this episode, we were left feeling hopeful again, which is 100% better than absolutely deflated. Oh, and she smiled at us reassuringly while talking to us. Maybe she was celebrating Customer Service Week with us.

Hopeful is not the same as helpless. It is now Wednesday the letter has yet to reveal itself in our mailbox. I have made another appointment for next Monday just in case that letter still doesn't arrive tomorrow, Friday or Saturday. I also plan on showing up every week until we get some answers.

Blab blab blabbing and venting about CIS

This wait is proving to be very tough for us. We say it every night before we go to bed. We want the baby to be here already, and then we get very sad that we can't hold him in our arms.

In the meantime, we are getting the house ready, putting in new floors, researching travel options, registering for more gifts, and coordinating baby shower stuff with friends and family who will be throwing them. We are also both just baby picture gazing a lot. We took about 300 over the 3-days we were there. Maybe a little obsessive but I love that we have so many to look at now that we are home waiting for trip 2.

OK and here is where I vent about the CIS. Since we have come home from trip 1, we've been bugging our social worker regarding how we can find out where our I-171 approval is. First he asked us to check with FBI to make sure they have sent in our fingerprint reports. Bill called and the report was sent on the same day we did them. Next, we get a phone call on Wednesday from our social worker telling us that CIS hasn't done much or anything at all since Dec. 12. The Orphan Petitions department is going through a transition with the old director leaving and the new one being in training over the last couple of weeks. The new director doesn't start until next week and the old one's last day was a few days ago. To make matters worse, the other staff person who actually processes the applications have been on vacation since Dec. 12. No one can say exactly when she will be back. Perhaps Thursday, perhaps Friday, or maybe next week. During all of this, they never bothered to make sure someone was filling in. As one of my friends said, there are so many unemployed people out there, you would think they could find someone to help keep things moving. No, they merely snoozed on all these families' applications, never considering how important this is to all these families. It's just insane that they feel that is acceptable planning on their part. I am so incensed at this and so afraid it will cause us to delay our dates to pickup D. Until the staff person comes back from vacation, we don't even have anyone to ask. Perhaps the next call should be to our congressman. I wonder if that will help speed things up. I guess right now, we have no choice but to wait until next week in hopes that the person on vacation comes back and can tell us where we are in the que.

So for now, we are still hoping that we will be able to travel in February, and planning for that. I hope I hope I hope.

I've been tagged!!

It looks like I've been tagged by Sloan, which means I get to write 8 interesting things about me that not very many people know. By the way, someone should remind me to stop at 99 posts so I can avoid having to come up with 100 things about me :)

1) I am a class 3 whitewater river guide. I am also a sea kayak guide. I volunteer with and organization called Environmental Travelling Companions. and we take people with special needs whitewater rafting, kayaking, and cross country skiing.

2) I spent a week trekking around the Karen villages on the border of Myanmmar in Thailand, and loved every minute of it. We stayed at each of the village leaders homes (it's customary for them to let guests stay even if you come unannounced and can't speak the language). Luckily, we had our mountain guide with us so we were able to communicate and ask a bunch of questions. We also climbed to the top of Ti Lor Su Falls. Scary but so worth it.

3) I am an opportunivore, meaning that I am not a picky eater whatsoever. You can take me anywhere and I will find something to eat, seafood, meat, veges, other unrecognizable food stuff, you name it, I will eat it (at least once or twice). And yes, I am willing to try the Kyrgyz "national drink", that fermented mare's milk. I can't wait until trip 2 when I will have more time to check this out and will have a few days to recover in case my digestive system decides to show me who is boss. Mala warned me but I am too curious and stubborn.

4) I have crocheted 6 baby blankets over the past year (most are for gifts). I found out that this relaxes me, so now I guess I am taking "commissions" from friends so that I don't end up with a hundred blankets.

5) I study a martial arts style called Kajukembo which originated in Hawaii and combines karate, jujitsu, kempo and Chinese boxing. I'm not all that good but I love the workout and the knowledge. D will be enrolling as soon as he is old enough.

6) I have had 2 ACL replacement surgeries, one on each knee. The first one from skiing in Utah and the next one from martial arts but not during a fight or anything. I was just doing roundhouse kicks with an advance. It's entirely possible that I should just stay home and watch TV since I seem to be dangerous to myself. But I may only live once (depends who you ask) and I may as well live my best life.

7) I was born in the Philippines but I am mostly Chinese in ethnicity. I moved to the U.S. (San Fernando Valley of Los Angeles) when I was 12. Therefore, when I am hanging out with my sisters, the Valley Girl accent usually rears its ugly head. "Like, oh my gosh, that is sooo grody and like, soooo embarassing!"

8) Since I was a little girl, I loved to draw and paint. I've always thought I was going to be an artist. Instead, I ended up in business school and now, I work as a director of finance in the telecom industry. Far cry from being an artist, but surprisingly, I really like that too. And I still paint from time to time.

Phewww!! I was worried I wasn't going to come up with 8 things which would lead me to explore other crazy stunts to perform, like chasing lions and bears!

Now, I tag Channing!

Baby K's Photos Made My Day

On day 3 of our visit with D, I got an email from a woman on the Kyrgyz Adoption Internet Group who asked me to take photos of her possible referral. She gave me her baby girl's name and told me she was 6 months old. While at the Bishkek Baby House, I asked about her. Our coordinator Saule was willing to help me but told me there wasn't a 6-month old there with that name. Perhaps, Tokmok but not Bishkek. At the same time, there was a baby who was about 1 1/2 years old with that same name. Saule told me she was going to an Adoption Alliance family and asked that I tell Karen at AA about her and to send her any photos I took. But because I asked about a 6-month old, we didn't think we found the baby K about whom I asked.

A few days ago, I responded to the email from my internet friend telling her I was really sorry I didn't find her baby. I really hated sending that email. Then, I sent the photos of the older baby to Karen at AA. Today, I got an email from my interent friend asking if I was the one who took the photos of baby K that Karen at AA sent her. Of course, looking at the email forwarded to her, I saw that it was the exact email I sent Karen and those were the photos I took. She was her baby. I don't know how the age got mixed up but who cares? That was her!!

I guess I should have known that it was too strange that I found a girl with the same name, but I didn't know for sure if that name is very common in Kyrgyzstan. That name could have been what "Jennifer" is to Americans.

Anyway, my internet friend, if you are reading this post, I loved getting your email and seeing that it was her after all. It really made my day and I am very very excited for you.

Gift Registry Blitz

Oh my goodness. I have NEVER spent so much time in a store and not actually buy much. Today was my indoctrination into the world of hands on baby registering. At first, I thought my head was going to explode, but then I just breathed in and in zen style got on with the task. Then I really started enjoying it. Surprisingly, so did Bill who absolutely hates to shop.

First the blankets, then the bottles, then the safety stuff, then the clothes, then the diaper bags, then the furniture, then the diapers. And we hadn't even gotten to the toys. After hours at BabiesRUs and then Target, we have lots of stuff added to the list. I just kept adding stuff with the assumption that I'll be deleting stuff online later on.

All this is just in time for all our family, friends and co-workers who keep insisting that we register so that they know what we still need. They want to throw baby showers for us so at this point, I think we have 4 baby showers lined up. One at my work, one virtual one with Bill's co-workers (he works from home and his coworkers are all over the country, most of them he has never met in person), one in L.A. with my family, and one here around home that MK is co-hosting with a couple of our friends. I think all this in context with the fact that neither one of our families have had babies around for a very long time, so everyone is very excited about D. And our friends have been there during our fertility disappointments and know how much this means to us.

So anyway, back to the shopping. At first, I was telling everyone that it was easy to figure out what to buy for us. We have nothing but a crib and a hand-me-down baby car seat from my friend Isabel, so everything should be ok to buy. But now that I actually got to the shopping and the choosing, I remembered that I am picky. I have very distinct taste so why would I think that this wouldn't apply to baby stuff?? Duh.

Once we got started, it was very easy to get carried away. It was easy to get lost in the hype of all the marketing. It seems that we need each and every little thing. Who knew you needed to have a special pillow for feeding the baby, and special diaper pails that keep odors in, and special bags for diaper disposal? First of all, I never remembered my mom having any of these special things and we came out ok. Did we really need all of these? And the one thing that I think keeps coming back to me are wipe warmers. Are cold wipes really that unpleasant?

What I enjoyed the most was looking at everything and imagining how D would look in them or how he would like or dislike each item. The truth is that I couldn't bring myself to commit to the baby things prior to meeting D. I didn't want to "count the chickens before the eggs hatched", given the IVF circumstances earlier in the year where my eggs actually didn't "hatch". I just couldn't face more sadness and loss so I armed myself with denial. I was so afraid to be disappointed if we lost the referral. I guess I really needed him to be real first and now that I have held him and saw him for myself, and have fallen in love, none of that old stuff matters. Right now, D has captured my heart and I am ready to be his mommy forever, even if that means shopping till I drop. Oh the sacrifices mothers make :-)

Interesting Things I Learned from Trip 1

Here are some interesting things I learned in the short period we spent in Bishkek:

Ded Moroz (pronounced Di-yed Mor-Oz) = Grandfather Winter. He is dressed just like Santa Claus but he has no reindeer to speak of, doesn't shimmy down any chimney's and I'm not sure about Mrs. Claus. However, like our Santa here, he distributes gifts to children as well.

Yolka (like Polka but with a Y) = Christimas Tree, except they don't celebrate Christmas so I'm sure that is not a direct translation. These are just like ours, decorated with shiny christmas balls, tinsel, garlands etc. I also didn't see gifts under any of them.

Young and some not so young adults are very fashionable Moscow style. Nice winter boots, skinny leg jeans, or mini skirts, or high heels walking around in Bishkek, sometimes in the snow. I on the other hand with my big lugsole Uggs, was slipping and sliding on the icy sidewalks in true California girl fashion.

Young adults listen to rap and rock. Yes, they know who Fifty is and even understand his lyrics. I live here and I don't!! Go figure that out.

There aren't very many new cars in Kyrgyzstan. Too expensive - although we did see some SUVs, even a Lexus that looked fairly new. Most are used cars that are imported from Japan, Germany and US.

They use sand to de-ice their roads and drivers have little regard for lane dividers.

The mall (Zum) is filled with individual merchants, unlike our big corporate store type malls. Bill thinks the US should adopt this model. It would be good for small businesses and we would have so much more variety than just the Gap, Macy's and Pottery Barns.

Diet Coke is not super popular but regular Coke is. And they only offer the huge 1-liter bottles when you order a Coke at the restaurants.

Good brewed coffee is hard to come by. They use instant. They probably think we are crazy for wanting to spend the time and effort to brew our fresh cups every day. If only they knew how much money Americans spend at Starbucks.

The Temir Komuz or Jews Harp is a favorite instrument to learn. Kids are taught how to play this instrument in school. Of course, Bill bought one. It is a rather cool looking thing. Here's a link to a YouTube video of someone playing one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPTWQnEMEjg

I'm not sure if medical insurance even exists in Kyrgyzstan but if it does, most people don't have it.

Ski slopes are an hour away from Bishkek. I wonder if we can swing this on the next trip. Not a priority but it would be very cool.