All is Quiet

No news no news no news no news. Zip! Zilch! Nada! UGH!

Quietly Waiting

We are still in waiting mode. We are told that there is a possibility that we could again have a shot at court on the 25th. If this happens, then we could possibly travel within 2 weeks (if the 30-day wait is waived) or in 30 days.

Certainly, the sooner the better but if not, I am determined to book a flight to see Dylan on the 3rd week of May. You see, I will be starting my leave from work regardless of what happens with this adoption. I hired a contractor to fill in for me a while back. We committed to her for 14 weeks. At the time, we didn't figure that we would be suffering through all these delays. No one knew and I really didn't have much of a choice. I could not just leave my job unfilled so we had to find someone and make the commitment.

Who knows? Maybe things happen for a reason. I have never had a break from full-time work since I was 20 years old. I am freaked out by the prospect that I could have this kind of open-ended time off. However, I am excited as well. If nothing else, I could go and see Dylan. Did I mention that I was approved by our agency to go and see him even before our real pick up date?

It's a bit hard on the savings account but we are willing to give this a go and try and make this work. After all, if this little piglet was waiting for you, could you stand to wait quietly?

Do I Deserve this Gift?

I just caught up on reading blogs and realized that Gen C. had given me the "you make the world a better place" award (a few weeks ago). We've been in a funk over the court delays and I haven't kept up very well on anyone's blog or reading the Yahoo group posts.

Be that as it may, I want to say thanks to Gen. Judging from my own actions lately, I don't feel so deserving. I have been just trying to keep my chin up. I've been so unmotivated to do anything lately, just sick to my stomach in aching to go back and hold Dylan again. I don't feel like I have touched the world in a positive way at all. I've been depressed, bitchy and dare I admit, self centered in my gloom about what has been going on.

Reading that Gen sent the gift to me made me realize that there is more to me than the sulking, somber, sometimes very distraught Ivy that I have become. That vital person I strive to be will be back, I promise. I am hoping for it to be sooner rather than later. Just please bring Dylan home soon, that is all I ask.

In the meantime, I am passing the gift to other fellow bloggers and non-bloggers alike who I really feel do make the world a better place.

Karen Danner - Claire's Mommy

Kat Howell - Charlie's Mommy (though she may never know if her laptop issues don't get resolved soon)
Kim Humphrey- Lilyana's Mommy
Margaret Lake - Milana Grace's Mommy
Shea Black - Xander and Beckett's Mommy (she may have already gotten this gift several times :)

OK, but I can't just limit this to fellow KG adoptive mommies. I also have to give props to my dearest friends and family members who I think are deserving. Lamar, Jackie H (JJ's Mommy), Elena Van Loo, Joanne (my sis), Mary S., and Stephanie O.

You ladies rock!!! Thanks for the cheerleading, the info, the virtual commiserating and being altogether inspirational.

A Bunch of Dylan Cuteness

Part of this liberating experience is being able to post some cuteness. So, now that I can monitor who is reading this blog, I can also share some photos.

In the midst of all the negativity and doubt in the process, which I may talk about in a later post, when I have mustered enough energy to put it into blog words, enjoy D, or should I say, Dylan.

Posting his photos here has reminded me of what this is all about. Dylan is waiting for us. He grows bigger in the arms of caregivers but he will soon come home to us. Not soon enough but soon nevertheless. This handsome little guy will soon be home...

Flower Power

I started to count how many of these blankets I can finish before we can get Dylan home. So far, I am at 10. The latest one is for my friends in Utah and their baby who I met when we visited Dylan in December. They, like us, have been on this excruciating wait for a court date. I hope we all get our babies home soon. In the meantime, I finished this blanket for this precious girl.

Going underground

I have been contemplating making this blog private for quite some time now. I have been feeling like I have to be on eggshells when I post. When all is going well, then no big deal but now that things have just been plain sucky, I find myself holding back in fear that some "official" may be monitoring posts. I hope that I am just being paranoid, writing about the bitch judge and all, but I suppose it is better safe than Dylan-less.

This actually feels liberating...

When in Rome

There is the saying "When In Rome, Do as the Romans".

Apparently, our judge doesn't believe in this. We found out today she is a previous judge in Russia. The way she sees this whole thing is that in Russia, families are used to waiting for court, so why should it be any different now that she is in Kyrgyzstan. Hence, she would not commit to a date when she will hear the cases that have been sitting there for months. This woman is on a serious power trip. She comes in when she wants, or doesn't, does what she wants, and expects that everyone just needs to accept it.

She doesn't seem to care that in Kyrgyzstan, the process has been different than what she knew from her days in Russia. Children are placed into loving homes as quickly as possible and this can only be good for the kids. And the insanely infuriating part is that she has to do so very little to be kind. The rubber stamp we are waiting for is merely a formality. All she would have to do is show up to work one day and knock a few out in so little time. Yet she won't. She actually consciously won't. I can't fathom anyone who could have so little humanity.

You know what I say? WHEN IN ROME, DON'T BE A BITCH!