Sunday, February 17, 2008

Serendipity and a Little Perspective

According to, the word "serendipity" is defined as an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident. We are indebted to the English author Horace Walpole for the word serendipity, which he coined in one of the 3,000 or more letters on which his literary reputation primarily rests. In a letter of January 28, 1754, Walpole says that "this discovery, indeed, is almost of that kind which I call Serendipity, a very expressive word." Walpole formed the word on an old name for Sri Lanka, Serendip. He explained that this name was part of the title of "a silly fairy tale, called The Three Princes of Serendip: as their highnesses traveled, they were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things which they were not in quest of...."

It is still pretty hard to accept the news about each delay when they are communicated to us. But to put things in perspective, I guess we are very fortunate that D is doing well, that the CIS now has everything they need from us, and that Saule is going to court next Friday.

Sure, I was hoping court was a month ago but things happen for a reason, right? I am not a particularly religious person in the Judeo Christian sense, but I do believe in the universal law of serendipity and karma and I have to believe that everything will work out for the best. We are good people, with good intentions. We try our best to be considerate and fair and kind to others. I think all of that energy goes somewhere that goes full circle. I may not see how or what will happen in the future, but I do believe it will work out.

In thinking back on our journey to D, he wasn't even in our realm of consciousness a year ago. We were still thick in the midst of our attempts at conception. We have been pretty tunnel-visioned about the whole idea of starting a biological family for so long. We hadn't even seriously considered adoption until the first IVF cycle failed. And I don't know how the idea of adoption was able to creep into the picture but it did. We really only tried a second IVF cycle to see if results would be better. At some point, we kicked around the idea that we would try and do an adoption even if we did get pregnant. All of that seemed so long ago but it actually isn't. All of the heartache we endured was just leading us closer to D. And now, none of that other stuff matters, only that we have discovered how much we want D in our lives.

Now, as zen as that sounds, I never said I wasn't going to have freak outs in between. I am, after all, a bit of a control freak and I don't always trust things I cannot see. It is getting a little easier to accept that certain things are out of my control but it is a work in progress. After all, as much as I want to say all of this have been deliberate, serendipity has been taking care of us pretty well.

I just have to remember to keep things in perspective. A year from now, none of the pain of this waiting will be important because we will have the joy of having D with us. And I am certain there will have been other serendipitous moments we can think back upon and enjoy.


littlebluecottage said...

I'm sorry to hear of this delay. You're in the hardest part of the wait but as soon as you are back there and holding him, it will all be ok again. Try and hold on a bit longer - which it sounds like you are. You're in the home stretch. D will be home soon.


Cindy LaJoy said...

Zen or not, I like it!! Serendipity is such a good word to use for adoption, isn't it? Hang in there, my friend, he will be home sooner than you think!


Gen 's Family Story said...

I love that word!!! Yeah!!! Court date!!! We had a court date without our CIS either and it came 2 week after. It'll make your 30 day wait shorter, better start getting ready:) Then it'll be crazy once you get the GO!

Suzanne said...

There's the spirit! You really do sound close now, Ivy. And I can sense a new calmness in your writing. That's a good place to be in right now.


Sloan said...

Oh Ivy, it sounds like the light at the end of the tunnel is coming! I cannot imagine how hard this wait has been and I am so glad to hear that Saule will be going to court soon! Your sweet baby D will be home soon before you know it!