Saturday, March 29, 2008

My Duck Needs a Haircut

Who are these callous mofo judges who don't seem to comprehend or care that there are babies involved here? They are waiting to come home, have been waiting to come home for some time now, and there are families who wait to get them home and will love them forever. How callous are these mofo's that week by week, they tell us our case will not be heard. I have the flu, there is a holiday, I'm at a seminar, my baby is sick, I am lazy, I am on a power trip, I couldn't care less about these orphans, my lunchbreak went a day long, my toenail hurts?? (Ok, I took a little liberty after after 'my baby is sick') But anyway, WHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

No court, again!!! This time, apparently, the judge was at a seminar... What is next? My duck needs a haircut??

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

A Blanket for Baby C

I'm one of those people that if you give me a Christmas present a week before, heck, a day before Christmas, I will not wait to open it. I actually physically can't. I think it is some form of OCD. Then, I'll feel so goofy so I'll actually attempt to wrap it back up and open it again on Christmas. When I do open it on Christmas, I feign a totally surprised look. In reality, I'm just as excited then as I was during the sneak peak. My family gets a kick out of this.

However, I do think that it is this same OCD that is making this wait really, really, really hard for me. I had a sneak peak of D in December, and leaving him back there at the baby house is like wrapping him back up. Sadly, Christmas was supposed to come very soon but Santa just won't cut us a freakin' break. Maybe his big, fat, red velvet ass got stuck in the chimney, or perhaps he ate too much and took a long nap instead of jumping into his sleigh. Hopefully, he will get his shit together and start delivering again soon. We've been really good this year, a little naughty but good nevertheless.

Anyway, this is why I am posting a photo of this newly finished blanket. It is actually for my new friends in Tennessee who are also waiting in the wings for that all elusive news of a court date. I told Kat it was going to be a surprise, but I'm just too excited about finishing it and sending it off. I don't think she reads my blog so maybe my surprise is safe. I hope she doesn't decide to start reading my blog now. If she does, well,... she'll see it in person in the next few days. It's kind of like me opening the present early and then wrapping it back up, then waiting until Christmas to open it for good. (Wow, I'm getting a lot of creative mileage out of this OCD thing of mine).

And after reading Suzanne's post, I'm sending this via Fedex and not DHL.

Monday, March 24, 2008

6-8 Weeks???????

I have been trying so hard to be a good sport about all this, but I've run the gamut of emotions from sadness to frustration to just plain anger, and depression. Then, hopeful again and sick to my stomach of longing and worry. What happened to the 6-8 weeks between trips? We are now on week 14 and we don't even have a court date. I'm feeling very very bitter and discouraged. Maybe tomorrow, I will feel better but for now, there is nothing but sadness and anger. All the weeks of trying to put on my Tammy Faye face has caught up to me and it is just wrenching my gut like no other.

Our agency can provide no real answers as to the cause, only that everyone is trying their best. I don't understand how this is possible. It seems so many others are coming home with their sweet babies and there are a handful of us who wait in the wings with no word of hope.

In the meantime, I get periodic updates and photos from other families. This boy's face smiling, the face I held and fallen in love with in what seems like an eternity ago. I know I'm not the most patient person to begin with, but now we are talking about my son. How much restraint does anyone truly expect from me? Try ripping a newborn from his mother's arms and tell her she won't know when she will see him again. I was ready to stay in Kyrgyzstan and wait after trip 1. So many practical things got in the way. Maybe I should have just done it. It wouldn't be a perfect situation but at least I would see him growing, learning to sit, perhaps starting to eat solids, comfort him when he was sick or in the least at least just hold him for a couple of hours each day and reassure him mommy is here to stay.

Cut us a break already!!! There are no more lessons to be learned here. This is now just a cruel joke.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Blankets for Babies

I have made (crochet and knit) several baby blankets over the course of the 12 months. I think it helps me calm down at night after I get home from work. Those quiet moments when your head can really get the better of you. It is even more helpful now through this really difficult period of delays.

I just finished 2 more blankets and I wasn't inspired to make another for D. After all, how many blankets does one boy need? I needed a new purpose.

I wrote my new friends who are also going through the same thing with the courts in Kyrgyzstan. We are all waiting for the good news and are hoping to travel together. These 2 ladies have been so essential to my sanity this past few weeks. We are our own little support group. I thought maybe they would like a blanket for their kiddos too. Of course, I didn't want to impose or assume that they would. I sent them some photos and asked them if they would like one and they seemed very excited. One of them even suggested that I let the Yahoo group know about these blankets. If other families wanted one, I could charge them for it and it would help raise some money for this adoption. I have never considered this before because they have all been a labor of love. I am still considering that suggestion, but in the meantime, I thought I'd post some photos here just for fun.

And yes, one of them is of Bill and D wrapped in the blanket I made and left for him on Trip 1. You can't really see D very well, which is why I felt it is ok to post it. My, my, how big, grown men turn to mush when they fall in love with their babies.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

And the Wait Continues

Well, 4 weeks or so after court was supposed to happen, here we are, still nowhere. First the judge was out on maternity, then her baby got sick. The next judge was out with the flu. As of last week, we are on the third judge. I can't get angry at anyone. No one is to blame. We are in the cruel hands of circumstance.

Saule is working very hard to get this going but nothing has moved. I'm growing more and more impatient each day and I feel hopeless at times and optimistic at others. None of that truly matters because the fact is we are here, still waiting, and waiting and waiting.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

And the Feds Say....

YES, we are deemed able to care for and provide for D.

I don't usually update my blog from work but I just found out from Bill that the I-171H came in the mail today. What a sigh of relief... or more like, scream of joy.

Now we just have to hope that Mr. Kyrygzstan judge has recovered from his illness and shows up to work this week.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Perhaps No News Is Good News

We are are still waiting for our I-171H to come through. Our homestudy agency was advised that they had everything they needed from us. I looked on the CIS website to see what months they are processing and it looks like our CIS office is now getting caught up to their normal timeframe so we think it will be any day now.

So the one ridiculous thing I have to write here so I can look back and laugh one day is that the email I sent almost 2 months ago to the CIS was answered. It was a generic answer stating that our application is being processed in the timeframes expected and that their Service policy is to work on applications in the order they were received. Convenient. I wonder why they feel like they have to stick to that policy, but not the other one regarding responding to emails within 36 hours, which is after all, what their auto reply states. Oh, I forgot, their autoreply also states that they process I-600's within 60 - 90 days. Go figure.

As for the Kyrgyzstan side of things, our dossier has been there for about 3 weeks. Our coordinator went to court a couple of Fridays ago only to find that the judge was out sick. Aaaghhh! So, she was supposed to try again this past Friday.

As Americans, I know for a fact that we feel that it is important for us to know what is going on at every step of the process. I understand that other cultures aren't necessarily on board with that. We are used to getting information, whether it be straightforward or not, and getting it fast. And I know that other families who have BTDT know better than me. They know that this is part of the international adoption process, part of the rollercoaster ride. But I just can't help but wonder, 1) why there was not anyone else to cover for this judge on the day he was out sick, and 2) why it would take a whole week to try and go to court again. As someone wrote to me, for all we know, they could be going at lightning speed compared to the way it was when it was still the USSR. Am I just a pushy, impatient, self-centered American?

As of yesterday, Karen hasn't heard a word so we are hoping that no news is good news. Hopefully this means all went fine. We are keeping our fingers, toes, eyes, hairs, legs, and arms crossed. But honestly, anyone who has ever tried it can tell you, it's hard to keep that up for an extended period of time, especially crossing your eyes.

History of the Hot Rocker

To answer some questions and give a little more relevance to why we also love this rocker, yes, it is custom upholstered. My Aunt Linda is an interior designer and had some leftover fabric from a large project. It's actually an outdoor fabric so no need to scotchguard it for spills and other messy stuff. It's pretty soft though so you would never guess that it is a fabric that was made to withstand the elements, including one little boy who we are certain will do his best to leave his mark. As for the rocker itself, that came from Uncle Bob, Aunt Linda's fiance. He has 2 really awesome girls and they are now 9 and 11. This was their rocker when they were babies. The rocker was sitting in their garage with the old fabric on it. Obviously it has not been used in years. When the girls learned about D, and their dad offered this rocker to us, the girls were so excited to give their old rocker to him. So, long story short, the rocker got reupholstered with this rockin' fabric and what is old Americana style furniture got a new more updated and "funky" (as Jamie phrased it) look.